Transformation Thursday?
Hey beautiful creatures!
Today's just going to be a regular old blog post.
I've really been thinking about who I am lately and how fucking much I have changed not only physically but emotionally and mentally in the past three years.
I have always been and I've always tried to keep it locked away until I felt the people in my life could handle it. That didn't turn out so well. I lost people who I really loved because I was trying to be the person they wanted me to be rather than who I really was.
I've grown quite a bit in the past three years. I've come to realize that I can lead with my crazy. I can show people upon first handshake or eye contact that I am in fact strange and it is so god damn liberating. A little intimidating maybe but if they don't like me then they aren't for me and we can both move on.
This all really came about when I met my tattoo guy and his wife. Two of the most beautiful people I have ever met and I freaking love them. Getting to know Traz has saved my life, literally. His beautiful artwork that I have on my body helps me feel that I too am beautiful.
Then a couple of hard core crushes broke me open and upon putting myself back together learned that I am no longer that shy girl who needs to wait for anyone to make the first move. I'm aloud to be bold and honest about what I want.
I had a really difficult start to 2017 and I came really close to ending my life. I was so tired and so lost. I had no one and nothing, I was done. Then I met two of the most beautiful Souls I have ever encountered: Lucas and Charmie. They don't know it but they too saved my life. I can't even put into words how much they changed me in such a short amount of time. I adore them.
This picture of me from three years ago is such a different Kayla then the one sitting here typing this today. When we transform we think of a weight loss or gain but it can also be in how we present ourselves to the world, our preferences, our attitude, how we make others feel and in return how they make us feel.
There are so many more people who've helped me along the way and I owe a huge thanks to the good ones and even the not so good ones.
I've had these thoughts running around in my brain for a few weeks now and I needed to share them.
My depression tells me I'm worthless and can do nothing right but if the past several weeks have shown me anything it is that you never know what tomorrow will bring and you owe it to yourself to find out.
I love you all.
Ta for now,
Kayla
Today's just going to be a regular old blog post.
I've really been thinking about who I am lately and how fucking much I have changed not only physically but emotionally and mentally in the past three years.
To quote Riverdale's Jughead Jones "I'm weird. I'm a weirdo."
I have always been and I've always tried to keep it locked away until I felt the people in my life could handle it. That didn't turn out so well. I lost people who I really loved because I was trying to be the person they wanted me to be rather than who I really was.
I've grown quite a bit in the past three years. I've come to realize that I can lead with my crazy. I can show people upon first handshake or eye contact that I am in fact strange and it is so god damn liberating. A little intimidating maybe but if they don't like me then they aren't for me and we can both move on.
This all really came about when I met my tattoo guy and his wife. Two of the most beautiful people I have ever met and I freaking love them. Getting to know Traz has saved my life, literally. His beautiful artwork that I have on my body helps me feel that I too am beautiful.
Then a couple of hard core crushes broke me open and upon putting myself back together learned that I am no longer that shy girl who needs to wait for anyone to make the first move. I'm aloud to be bold and honest about what I want.
I had a really difficult start to 2017 and I came really close to ending my life. I was so tired and so lost. I had no one and nothing, I was done. Then I met two of the most beautiful Souls I have ever encountered: Lucas and Charmie. They don't know it but they too saved my life. I can't even put into words how much they changed me in such a short amount of time. I adore them.
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| 2017 |
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| 2014 |
This picture of me from three years ago is such a different Kayla then the one sitting here typing this today. When we transform we think of a weight loss or gain but it can also be in how we present ourselves to the world, our preferences, our attitude, how we make others feel and in return how they make us feel.
There are so many more people who've helped me along the way and I owe a huge thanks to the good ones and even the not so good ones.
I've had these thoughts running around in my brain for a few weeks now and I needed to share them.
My depression tells me I'm worthless and can do nothing right but if the past several weeks have shown me anything it is that you never know what tomorrow will bring and you owe it to yourself to find out.
As cliched as it sounds:
One day can change your whole life.
Ta for now,
Kayla
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